As Bella
sends Jacob into battle and uses Edward for her emotional support, the readers
of Eclipse can almost physically feel
Bella’s pain in this moment. Bella’s disappointment in herself is felt deeply
by readers of the Twilight series.
She wants to love well, but she doesn’t really know how to do that. She has
examples in her life, like Carlisle and Esme, but she can’t quite access how
that kind of love looks for her. Bella is broken at this point. It is her rock
bottom in this story. You know what’s amazing? God’s greatest work happens when
we are facing the rock bottom in our own stories. When we face the truth of our
great sin and seek God in humility, he answers our prayers with a powerful love
as described in Ephesians 3:14-19. When we are broken, God is waiting for us.
We can
experience multiple rock bottoms in one lifetime. One of mine began in February
2000 when my granddaddy died unexpectedly. His death was incredibly painful
because he was like a father to me. At the time of his death, I was living in
so much sin. My life seemed good on the outside, but my insides were full of
dark secrets. When my granddaddy died, I cried all night long because he was
gone and I wanted to change. I just didn’t know how. I had all the right
religious answers in my head, but I couldn’t translate those into my heart. I
cried out to God in loneliness and desperation. Humbly, I can say that God was
listening and began a new work in my heart that continues to this day.
The God of
the Bible is a forgiving father who longs to be the shoulder that we cry on.
And he strengthens us by putting His Spirit in us to remind us of our eternal
destiny and to empower us to live with a supernatural vigor. His love can never
fail, and He will never fail you. God’s plan is greater. God’s purpose is
greater. God’s love is greater than we can imagine or even fully understand in
this life. Paul’s prayer in this passage is a striking reminder that we can spend
our entire lives trying to understand God’s love for us. It is a worthy
pursuit.