The first night of sex between Bella and
Edward leaves much to the imagination. As readers, we are only privy to the
lead-up and aftermath. We certainly know that this couple has plenty of sexual
tension to be released. I have to applaud the Twilight series for this simple yet powerful example of waiting.
The pressure in our culture to participate in sexual encounters frequently and
with multiple people is enormous. Sex is identified more as an act of physical
pleasure than a crescendo of emotional intimacy. Bella and Edward have spent
months building a close familiarity with each other, so their first experience
with sex is more than just an act. It is a climax and beginning to a new level
of intimacy between them. This is the best and only way to fully enjoy and
explore sex, that is, within the enclosure of a marriage. It is part of putting
away our selfish desires and living for God in Christ, as described in
Ephesians 4:17-24. Waiting is a countercultural concept, yet the process yields
unworldly results in our romantic relationships. A life shaped by God, not our
sexual desires, brings renewal and wholeness.
I have to admit that it feels weird to discuss
a personal topic without knowing your background. If you are not married, then
I encourage you to follow God’s process for waiting until the right time, which
is marriage. Use dating as a place to build a solid emotional foundation for
your romantic relationships. I certainly don’t envy your situation, as our
culture is saturated with sexuality. It is a tough road to walk, and I pray
that you will find friends who can support you and hold you accountable for
your sexual behavior. If you are married, then I encourage you to evaluate
sexuality within your marriage. When the honeymoon season ends, emotional and
sexual intimacy can quickly become a lower priority in our lives. Between busy
schedules and life demands, we fall into seeing sex more as a duty than a gift.
Both men and women crave and need emotional and sexual intimacy.
In his book Sheet Music, psychologist Kevin Leman writes about the wife’s
ability to impact a husband’s life energy with sex. He says,
“In today’s climate of downsizing and fear of losing your job, a fulfilling sex life is sort of like putting your husband on a rechargeable battery. Every time the two of you have sex, and your husband knows that you desire him physically, it recharges his battery. He’ll take on the world, or that troublesome boss, or that difficult vocational challenge, or that seemingly closed job market, one more time. Twenty firms may have rejected him, but if the man has a loving wife at home, he’ll wake up the next day to visit twenty more.”13
A
fulfilling sex life is a gift for married couples.
In Breaking
Dawn, sex becomes difficult during the honeymoon. It becomes non-existent
when Bella’s pregnancy is confirmed. As Bella and Edward begin to understand
the situation, their character faults start to reappear. Edward explodes in
anger and control, while Bella neglects to share her call to Rosalie with him.
Both of these actions ravage the couple’s emotional intimacy. In Ephesians
4:25-32, Paul gives a list of ways we can extinguish unity in our
relationships. He explains that a changed person results in changed behavior. As he
has already written in Ephesians, Jesus is peace, and we are called to live in
peace with other. The behaviors listed in this text do not promote community,
they destroy it.14
Lying,
angry actions and vulgar speech all diminish our message of love. Instead, we
are commanded to exhibit gentleness, sensitivity and forgiveness as God has
given to us. Another gift from God to His children is the Holy Spirit. In
Ephesians 1, we learned that the Holy Spirit is a deposit that guarantees our
future residence in God’s heavenly home. The Holy Spirit is God’s presence in
humanity while Jesus Christ was God in human form. After Jesus completed his
mission on earth, God sent His Holy Spirit to live in His children. The Spirit
makes us supernatural beings in a natural world.